Best techniques for decision making when every option feels wrong

Before we get into techniques for decision making, let’s talk about what’s really happening when every choice feels wrong.

You might be comparing options to a perfect outcome that doesn’t exist. Your brain has created this ideal scenario – the job with perfect pay, perfect culture, perfect growth opportunity, perfect commute. The relationship with all the emotional connection and none of the compromise. The living situation that checks every single box. And now you’re rejecting real options because they don’t match this fantasy.

The decision might actually be between two genuinely difficult trade-offs. Sometimes life hands you choices like: financial security in a soul-crushing job, or fulfilling work that barely pays rent. Moving closer to family but further from your career opportunities. Staying in a relationship that’s 70% good but has that persistent 30% that’s really not okay. These aren’t decisions between good and bad – they’re decisions between different types of hard.

You might be decision-fatigued. If you’ve been wrestling with this choice for weeks or months, your brain is exhausted. Decision fatigue makes everything feel wrong because you no longer trust your own judgment.

Or one option actually is wrong, and your gut knows it. Sometimes “nothing feels right” is your intuition screaming that you’re trying to logic your way into something that fundamentally doesn’t work for you.

When you don’t trust any option, it’s easy to fall into analysis paralysis — overthinking, revisiting the same facts, and second-guessing yourself until you’re exhausted.

The techniques for decision making I’m about to share will help you figure out which situation you’re in. 

Stop gathering more information

I know. You want to research more. Read one more article. Ask one more person. Surely if you just had that one piece of information, everything would become clear.

But what’s actually happening is that you’re using information-gathering as a way to avoid the discomfort of choosing. You’re hoping the decision will somehow make itself if you just collect enough data.

It won’t.

At a certain point, more information creates more confusion, not more clarity. You start seeing contradictions. You find examples of people who succeeded with choice A and people who succeeded with choice B. You encounter risks you hadn’t considered. And now you’re more stuck than when you started.

Try this instead: Give yourself a hard deadline to stop researching. Twenty-four hours. Three days. Whatever feels reasonable for your situation. After that deadline, you work with the information you have. Not because you have perfect information (you never will), but because you have enough.

The “what would I tell my best friend?” technique

You know how you can see other people’s situations so much more clearly than your own? There’s a reason for that. When it’s not your life, you’re not tangled up in all the fear and emotion and what-ifs.

So borrow that clarity for yourself.

Write out your situation as if you’re describing it to someone else. All the options. All the complications. Everything that makes this hard. Then read it back as if your best friend wrote it and is asking for your advice.

What would you tell them?

You’ll probably notice something interesting – the answer becomes more obvious when you remove yourself from the center of it. Not easy, necessarily. Not perfect. But more obvious.

This is one of the most effective tools for decision making because it creates distance between you and your fear. It lets you access the wisdom you actually have but can’t hear over the noise of your anxiety.

The 10-10-10 framework

A technique for decision making that cuts through a lot of the emotional fog is: ask yourself how you’ll feel about this decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.

In 10 minutes: This reveals your immediate emotional reaction. Which choice gives you instant relief? Which one makes your stomach drop? Your immediate reaction matters – it’s data about how you really feel beneath all the logic.

Let’s say you’re deciding between staying at your stable-but-soul-crushing job or taking a risk on something that actually excites you. In 10 minutes, choosing the safe job might feel like relief. You chose security. You’re being responsible. Your anxiety quiets down.

In 10 months: This is where most of your practical concerns live. Will you regret this? Will you be struggling financially? Will you have grown? Will you be burned out? 

Ten months into that safe job? You might be so bored you’re browsing job listings on your lunch break. Or maybe you’re genuinely glad you stayed – you got that promotion, you’re saving money, and the stability is letting you focus on other parts of your life.

In 10 years: This is the perspective check. From that distance, which decision aligns with the person you want to become? Which choice will you look back on and understand, even if it was hard? Which one will you deeply regret?

In 10 years, will you look back and think “I’m glad I played it safe during that period” or “I can’t believe I talked myself out of the thing I actually wanted”? Sometimes the safe choice is genuinely right. Sometimes it’s the choice that slowly kills the part of you that wanted more.

Your immediate reaction matters – it’s data. Your 10-month projection is your reality check. Your 10-year view is your values talking. Listen to all three.

The minimum acceptable outcome test

Sometimes you’re stuck because you’re trying to optimize for the best outcome when you actually just need to avoid the worst one.

So flip your approach: Instead of asking “Which option is best?”, ask “Which option’s worst-case scenario can I actually live with?”

Let’s say you’re deciding between two job offers. Option A has higher pay but a longer commute. Option B has better work-life balance but less money.

The worst case for option A: You’re exhausted from commuting, spending all that extra money on gas and car maintenance, and you barely see your life outside work.

The worst case for option B: Money is tight. You have to be more careful with spending. That financial stress is real.

Which worst-case scenario is actually manageable for you? Which one would grind you down versus which one would just be uncomfortable?

This technique for decision making helps because it stops you from chasing an idealized outcome and instead grounds you in reality. You’re not trying to make the perfect choice. You’re trying to make the choice you can actually live with when things don’t go perfectly.

Name what you’re actually afraid of

A lot of decision paralysis isn’t about the options themselves. It’s about fear wearing a disguise.

You think you’re stuck because the options are unclear. But look closer at what’s really happening.

You’re not just weighing whether to take the higher-paying job with the longer commute. You’re terrified that choosing money over time means you’re the kind of person who sells out. You’re afraid of what that says about your values. You’re afraid you’ll look back and realize you traded your life for a paycheck, and there’s no way to undo that.

Or maybe you’re not actually confused about whether to end the relationship. You know it’s not working. But you’re paralyzed by the thought of being the person who gave up. Of disappointing everyone who thinks you’re perfect together. Of being single again and having to admit you couldn’t make it work.

The fear of making the wrong choice and looking stupid. The fear of disappointing people who expect you to choose differently. The fear of committing to something and losing other possibilities forever.

These fears are running the show, and you don’t even realize it.

So write it down. What are you actually afraid of? Not the surface-level “I’m afraid I’ll regret this” stuff. The real, embarrassing, vulnerable truth about what terrifies you about each option.

“I’m afraid if I choose my career over moving closer to family, it means I’m selfish and I’ll die alone.”
“I’m afraid if I turn down this opportunity, I’ll never get another chance and I’ll spend my whole life wondering what could have been.”
“I’m afraid that if I choose what I actually want instead of what makes sense, people will think I’m irresponsible and maybe they’ll be right.”

Write it down. Look at it. And then ask yourself: “Okay, if that fear comes true, what then? Can I handle that?”

Usually? Yes. It won’t be fun. It might hurt. But you can handle it.

Your unnamed fears control you. The ones you can actually look at? Those you can work with.

The “coin flip” gut check

This one’s going to sound ridiculous, but it works. Assign each option to heads or tails. Flip a coin. While that coin is in the air, pay attention to what you’re hoping for.

That split second of hoping for heads over tails? That’s your gut trying to tell you something.

You don’t actually have to go with whatever the coin says. The point isn’t to let a coin decide your life. The point is to create a moment where your immediate, unfiltered reaction can surface.

I’ve seen people flip a coin, see the result, and immediately feel relief or disappointment. That’s information. That’s your body giving you data that your overthinking brain was drowning out.

Try on the decision (temporarily)

One of the most effective techniques for decision making is to actually make the choice – in your head – and live with it for 48 hours.

Tell yourself: “Okay, I’ve decided. I’m going with option A.” Don’t announce it to anyone else yet. Just sit with it internally. Notice how it feels to walk around having made that choice.

Do you feel relieved? Lighter? Like something unlocked? Or do you feel wrong? Like you’re trying to convince yourself it’s fine but it’s really not?

After 48 hours, make the opposite choice. “Actually, I’ve decided on option B.” Live with that one for 48 hours too.

This technique helps because it moves you out of abstract comparison mode and into lived experience mode. It’s one thing to weigh options on paper. It’s another thing to actually feel what it’s like to have chosen.

Accept that no amount of analysis will make this feel good

Sometimes when you’re trying to make decisions and nothing feels right, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong – it’s because there isn’t a perfect option right now. There’s just “less bad” or “hard in a different way.”

And no technique for decision making – no framework, no list, no amount of thinking – is going to make you feel good about choosing between two difficult things.

The goal isn’t to feel good. The goal is to feel clear enough to move forward.

You’re allowed to make a choice and still feel sad about what you’re giving up. You’re allowed to commit to a path and still wish you didn’t have to. You’re allowed to choose something and simultaneously grieve the version of your life where you chose differently.

Decision making isn’t about achieving perfect peace with your choice. It’s about accepting that staying frozen is worse than moving forward imperfectly.