Best affirmations for forgiveness: The weight you’re carrying isn’t yours to keep
Someone hurt you. Maybe it was years ago, maybe it was yesterday. Maybe it was a betrayal that changed everything, or a thousand small cuts that added up to something unbearable. Maybe it was someone who was supposed to protect you, love you, or simply treat you with basic human decency.
And now you’re carrying it. The anger, the hurt, the replay of what they did and what they should have done instead. You’re carrying their actions like stones in your pockets, getting heavier every day.
Reality is that forgiveness is not about them. It’s about you.
It’s not about excusing what they did or pretending it didn’t matter. It’s not about becoming friends again or giving them another chance to hurt you. It’s about putting down the weight so you can walk forward freely. Want to learn exactly how to release what’s holding you back? Read my complete guide on the art of letting go.
The forgiveness myths that keep you stuck
Myth 1: “Forgiveness means what they did was okay.”
Truth: Forgiveness means you’re done letting what they did control your peace.
Myth 2: “If I forgive them, they win.”
Truth: Staying angry means they’re still controlling your emotional state. Forgiveness means you win your life back.
Myth 3: “I need an apology before I can forgive.”
Truth: You can forgive someone who never apologizes, never changes, and never even admits they were wrong. Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.
Myth 4: “Forgiving means I have to trust them again.”
Truth: Forgiveness is about healing your past. Trust is about protecting your future. You can do one without the other.
Myth 5: “I should be able to forgive and forget.”
Truth: Forgetting isn’t the goal – freedom is. You can remember what happened and still choose peace over resentment.
The forgiveness journey: Where you are vs. where you’re going
If you’re in the anger stage:
You’re furious. You replay what happened over and over. You fantasize about them getting what they deserve. You feel justified in your rage because what they did was genuinely wrong.
Your starting affirmations:
- My anger is valid, and I don’t have to rush through it.
- I can feel hurt without letting it consume my entire life.
- I’m allowed to be angry while still choosing what’s best for my healing.
If you’re in the bargaining stage:
You keep thinking “if only” scenarios. If only you had said something different. If only they would just apologize. If only you could make them understand how much they hurt you.
Your transition affirmations:
- I cannot control or change what already happened.
- I cannot force someone to become the person I needed them to be.
- My healing doesn’t depend on their actions or awareness.
If you’re in the exhaustion stage:
You’re tired of being angry. Tired of thinking about it. Tired of giving them space in your head rent-free. You want to move on but don’t know how.
Your movement affirmations:
- I’m ready to put down this weight I’ve been carrying.
- I choose my peace over their punishment.
- I’m taking back the energy I’ve been spending on resentment.
If you’re in the liberation stage:
You’ve started to realize that forgiveness isn’t about them – it’s about you. You’re ready to reclaim your emotional freedom and stop letting past hurt dictate your present peace.
Your freedom affirmations:
- I forgive not because they deserve it, but because I deserve peace.
- I release this burden to create space for joy in my life.
- I am free from the prison of resentment.
The daily forgiveness practice: Affirmations that actually heal
Morning: Setting the intention
- Today I choose healing over hurting.
- I will not let someone else’s actions determine my peace.
- I am committed to my own emotional freedom.
When the anger resurfaces (because it will):
- This feeling is temporary. I don’t have to act on it.
- I acknowledge this pain and choose not to feed it.
- I breathe in peace and breathe out resentment.
When you want revenge:
- Their consequences are not my responsibility.
- I trust that life has its own way of balancing things.
- My energy is better spent on building my own happiness.
When you miss them (if it’s someone you loved):
- I can love someone and still protect myself from them.
- I honor the good memories while accepting the relationship is over.
- Missing them doesn’t mean I have to give them access to hurt me again.
When you feel guilty for not forgiving fast enough:
- Forgiveness is a process, not a destination.
- I’m healing at exactly the pace I need to heal.
- There’s no timeline for letting go of deep hurt.
Evening: Releasing the day
- I did my best today with the healing I have right now.
- I release any resentment I picked up today.
- I sleep peacefully knowing I’m choosing freedom over anger.
The types of forgiveness: Different hurts need different healing
Forgiving betrayal
When someone you trusted broke that trust completely.
Core affirmations:
- I can trust again, but I trust wisely now.
- Their betrayal says nothing about my worth.
- I will not let one person’s dishonesty make me cynical about everyone.
Forgiving abandonment
When someone left when you needed them most.
Core affirmations:
- I am not too much for the right people.
- Their leaving taught me I can survive anything.
- I attract people who stay because I’m worth staying for.
Forgiving disappointment
When someone repeatedly let you down or failed to show up when it mattered.
Core affirmations:
- I can lower my expectations without lowering my standards.
- Their inability to show up says nothing about my worth.
- I choose people who match my energy and effort.
Forgiving neglect
When someone failed to give you what you needed.
Core affirmations:
- I can give myself what they couldn’t give me.
- I was worthy of love and care then, and I’m worthy now.
- I break cycles by treating myself better than I was treated.
Forgiving yourself
When you’re the one who caused the hurt.
Core affirmations:
- I was doing the best I could with what I knew then.
- I can’t change the past, but I can choose differently now.
- I forgive myself and commit to being better going forward.
Need more tools for self-forgiveness? These 10 self-compassion exercises will help you treat yourself with the kindness you deserve
The forgiveness reset: When you thought you’d moved on
Sometimes you think you’ve forgiven someone, and then something triggers all that old anger again. You feel like you’re back at square one, like you failed at forgiveness.
You didn’t fail. Healing isn’t linear.
Reset affirmations:
- Healing happens in layers, not in straight lines.
- Having a bad day doesn’t erase my progress.
- I’m human, and humans sometimes need to forgive the same hurt multiple times.
- I recommit to my healing as many times as I need to.
- Each time I choose forgiveness, it gets a little easier.
Your forgiveness declaration
Think of one person you’re carrying resentment toward. It could be someone who hurt you deeply or someone who just disappointed you repeatedly.
Now complete this sentence:
“I forgive [name] not because they deserve it, but because I deserve to be free from the weight of carrying anger toward them.”
Say it out loud. Notice what comes up. Resistance? Relief? Doubt? Whatever it is, it’s okay.
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision – it’s a practice. Some days you’ll feel generous and free. Other days you’ll feel angry all over again.
Both are normal. Both are part of healing. The goal isn’t to never feel hurt again. The goal is to stop letting that hurt run your life.
What would be possible for you if you put down the weight you’ve been carrying? Who would you be if you weren’t defined by what was done to you? How much energy would you have for joy if you stopped spending it all on resentment?
Your freedom is waiting for you on the other side of forgiveness. Take the first step today.
If you’re tired of carrying the weight of old hurts, if you want to stop letting past pain control your present peace, and if you’re ready to experience true emotional freedom, you need more than just words to repeat.
You need a step-by-step system that guides you through the complete letting go process – from understanding what’s holding you back to building a life free from past hurt.
My Letting go workbook gives you exactly that – the 30-day framework to release what no longer serves you and create space for the life you actually want.
Stop carrying their actions. Start carrying your freedom.
