Which self love ritual do you actually need?

The morning self love ritual: When you’re abandoning yourself before you even begin

You need this if:

• Your first thought is about what you didn’t finish yesterday.
• You’re checking your phone before checking in with yourself.
• Ten minutes alone before the day starts feels impossible.
• You wake up already behind.

Your morning sets the tone for your entire day. If you start by immediately giving your energy away, you’re teaching yourself that everyone else matters more than you do.

What it looks like:

Before you hand your attention to the world, ask yourself: What does my body and mind need this morning to feel supported?

Not what you “should” do. Not what would make you more productive. What do YOU need?

Maybe it’s sitting in silence with your coffee instead of scrolling. Maybe it’s stretching before you get into the chaos of the day. Maybe it’s just five minutes where you give yourself attention before giving it to everyone else.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about refusing to abandon yourself before the day even starts. A morning self love ritual doesn’t need to be elaborate. It just needs to happen before you give your energy to everyone else.

Your challenge:

Design your ideal self love morning. Get specific:

• What time would you wake up if you honored your body’s needs?
• What would you do for yourself BEFORE checking your phone?
• How would you fuel your body if you treated it with love?
• How would look to actually start the day loving yourself?

Write it down. Then pick ONE thing from that list and do it tomorrow. Just one.

The evening reflection: When you can’t turn off because you never gave yourself permission to be done

You need this if:

• You go straight from doing mode to bed, without ever shifting into being mode.
• Your brain won’t shut up because it’s already planning tomorrow.
• You close your eyes and immediately start replaying everything you didn’t get done.
• You’re “tired” but can’t actually sleep because your brain won’t shut up.

Let’s be honest – you’re not winding down, you’re collapsing. And there’s a big difference.

What it looks like:

Evening self love practices aren’t about forcing yourself to write a gratitude list you don’t mean. They’re about giving yourself a transition – a moment between the day that’s over and the rest you deserve.

And some nights? You’ll skip this entirely. You’ll collapse into bed scrolling Instagram until your eyes burn. That’s fine. You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re just trying to stop abandoning yourself every single night.

Ask yourself: If I truly respected myself, how would I end my day?

Maybe it’s sitting in stillness for five minutes and acknowledging what you actually did today – instead of beating yourself up for what you didn’t. 

Maybe it’s writing down three things – something that went well, something you’re letting go of, and something you’re looking forward to. Or maybe it’s simply giving yourself permission to stop. To be done.

Your challenge:

Before you go into bed tonight, take a breath and ask yourself:

• What do I need to let go of so I can truly rest?”

Then write it down. Everything spinning in your head right now – the unfinished tasks, the conversations you’re replaying, the planning for tomorrow. Get it all out of your head and onto paper.

Then tell yourself: “This can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I’m done.”

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to finish everything to deserve peace. Stop dragging today into tomorrow. You’re allowed to be done.

The self-compassion practice: When your inner voice sounds like someone who hates you

You need this if:

• You talk to yourself in ways you’d never talk to someone you love.
• You’re stuck in loops of guilt, shame, and “never enough.”
• Your first response to any mistake is to attack yourself.
• You give everyone else grace but you get punishment.
• You genuinely believe being cruel to yourself will somehow make you better.

You can’t hate yourself into a better version of you. It doesn’t work. It never has and never will.

What it looks like:

Self-compassion doesn’t mean you’re letting yourself off the hook. It’s refusing to use cruelty as motivation.

So for the next 24 hours, try something different – treat yourself like you’re not the enemy.

• When you mess up at work → Instead of “I’m so stupid,” try “That didn’t go as planned. What can I learn?”
• When you look in the mirror → Instead of cataloging flaws, try “My body is doing its best today.”
• When you don’t finish your to-do list → Instead of “I never get anything done,” try “I prioritized what mattered most today.”

Your challenge:

Write a proof list. Actual proof that you’re worthy, lovable, and doing way better than you think. Not generic affirmations. Specific proof from your actual life.

Examples:  

• “I showed up today even when it was hard.”
• “I handled that tough conversation with my boss even though I was terrified.”
• “I gave myself a break last Tuesday when I needed it instead of pushing through.”
• “I kept that promise to myself about going to bed earlier.”

Write 10 pieces of evidence. Then read them out loud every morning for the next 7 days.

Your brain needs new evidence that you’re not the disaster your inner critic says you are. So give it some. And if you want to understand why your inner voice is so harsh in the first place, read about the different types of inner critics and how they operate.

Need help with what to say to yourself when that inner critic gets loud? These self love affirmations can give you the exact words to counter the harsh voice in your head.

The body kindness ritual: When you’ve forgotten your body isn’t just a project to fix

You need this if:

• You only pay attention to your body when you’re criticizing it.
• You push through pain, exhaustion, and hunger because “there’s too much to do”
• You’ve been treating your body like it’s supposed to show up without ever being cared for.
• You don’t remember the last time you moved your body in a way that felt good instead of punishing.

Your body isn’t failing you. You’re ignoring it until it screams, then getting annoyed when it finally breaks down. That’s not your body being dramatic – that’s you treating it like it exists to serve you without maintenance.

What it looks like:

Body kindness isn’t about forcing yourself to love every inch of how you look. It’s about remembering that your body is keeping you alive right now, and maybe it deserves better than constant criticism.

Ask your body: What do you need right now? Water? Movement? Rest? Or maybe just a break from being talked about like it’s broken?

Then actually give it what it needs. Not later. Not when you’ve “earned” it. Now.

Your body has been showing up for you every single day of your life. It’s kept your heart beating, your lungs breathing, your brain thinking. Even when you’ve been terrible to it.

Maybe it’s time to return the favor.

Your challenge:

Right now, this moment, ask your body: “What do you need?”

Then listen. Actually listen. Not what your productivity app says you need. Not what that wellness influencer said you should do. What does YOUR body need right now?

Create a list of 3 non-negotiable ways you will care for your body moving forward. Not suggestions. Commitments.

Example: “I will always honor my body’s need for rest without guilt.”  
Example: “I will never push myself to burnout and call it dedication.”

Not what your schedule says you have time for. Not what would be most efficient. What does your body actually need?

Maybe it’s water because you haven’t had any today. Maybe it’s five minutes of stretching because you’ve been hunched over a computer for hours. Maybe it’s actual food instead of whatever you’ve been surviving on.

Do that one thing. Then tomorrow, ask again. Start treating your body like something you’re in partnership with instead of something you’re at war with. See what changes.