Self love quiz: How strong is your self love right now?

Self love isn’t just a buzzword floating around social media – it’s the foundation of everything good in your life. Your relationships, career success, mental health, and overall happiness all come from how you treat and think about yourself.

But the thing is that most of us have no clue where we actually stand when it comes to loving ourselves. We might think we’re doing great, only to realize we’re still stuck in old patterns of self-criticism and doubt. Or maybe we know we struggle but aren’t sure exactly where to focus our energy.

That’s why I created this self love quiz. It’s designed to give you crystal-clear insight into your current self love levels across the key areas that matter most. Plus, you’ll get personalized tips based on your results to help you level up starting today.

Why your self love level matters more than you think

Before we start the self love quiz, let’s talk about why this matters so much. When your self love is strong, you:

Make decisions from confidence, not fear,
Set boundaries that actually stick,
Attract healthier relationships,
Bounce back faster from setbacks,
Take better care of your physical and mental health,
Go after your dreams instead of playing it safe,
Stop seeking validation from others and so much more.

When your self love needs work, you might find yourself:

Second-guessing every decision you make,
Saying yes when you mean no,
Staying in situations that drain you,
Comparing yourself to everyone around you,
Putting everyone else’s needs before your own,
Playing small to avoid judgment.

Sound familiar? Don’t worry – wherever you are right now is exactly where you need to be. This quiz will help you see the full picture and move forward with intention.

Self love quiz to help you start loving yourself and self love workbook for women suggestions

How strong is your self love quiz

For each statement below, choose the response that feels most true for you most of the time. Be honest – this is for you, not anyone else. Write down your letter choice (A, B, C, or D) so you can calculate your score at the end.

Section 1: Inner dialogue and self-talk

When I make a mistake, my internal response is usually:

A) “Everyone makes mistakes. What can I learn from this?”
B) “That was silly, but it’s not the end of the world.”
C) “I can’t believe I did that. I should have known better.”
D) “I’m such an idiot. I always mess everything up.”

When I look in the mirror, my thoughts are typically:

A) Appreciative of my body and what it does for me.
B) Mostly neutral, focusing on getting ready.
C) Critical of specific things I want to change.
D) Harsh and focused on everything I dislike.

When someone compliments me, I:

A) Accept it gracefully and believe it.
B) Say thank you and feel good about it.
C) Deflect or minimize the compliment.
D) Assume they’re just being nice or don’t mean it.

Section 2: Boundaries and self-advocacy

When someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do, I:

A) Politely decline without feeling guilty.
B) Usually say no but sometimes feel bad about it.
C) Often say yes even when I don’t want to.
D) Almost always say yes to avoid disappointing anyone.

In relationships, I:

A) Communicate my needs clearly and expect them to be respected.
B) Share my needs most of the time.
C) Sometimes hint at what I need but rarely ask directly.
D) Rarely express my needs and often feel resentful.

When someone treats me disrespectfully, I:

A) Address it directly and calmly in the moment.
B) Usually speak up, though it might take me some time.
C) Feel upset but often don’t say anything.
D) Accept it and blame myself for somehow causing it.

Section 3: Self-care and personal needs

When it comes to taking care of myself, I:

A) Prioritize my physical and emotional needs consistently.
B) Take decent care of myself most of the time.
C) Sometimes neglect my needs when life gets busy.
D) Rarely prioritize my own needs over others’.

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed, I:

A) Have healthy coping strategies I use regularly.
B) Usually manage stress pretty well.
C) Sometimes struggle but eventually figure it out.
D) Often feel stuck and don’t know how to help myself.

My approach to rest and downtime is:

A) I schedule it and protect it like any other important commitment.
B) I generally get enough rest.
C) I often feel guilty when I’m not being productive.
D) I rarely allow myself to truly rest without feeling lazy.

Section 4: Personal growth and goals

When I think about my dreams and goals, I:

A) Feel excited and take consistent action toward them.
B) Have clear goals and make steady progress.
C) Want to pursue them but often doubt if I can.
D) Feel like they’re impossible or not meant for someone like me.

When facing a new challenge or opportunity, I:

A) Feel excited about the growth potential.
B) Feel nervous but willing to try.
C) Focus more on what could go wrong.
D) Assume I’m not capable or qualified enough.

12. My relationship with failure is:

A) I see it as valuable feedback and learning.
B) I don’t love it but I recover fairly quickly.
C) I take it personally but eventually move on.
D) I see it as proof that I’m not good enough.

Scoring your quiz

Count up your answers:

A answers = 4 points each
B answers = 3 points each
C answers = 2 points each
D answers = 1 point each

This self love quiz evaluates four critical dimensions: your inner dialogue, boundary-setting ability, self-care practices, and personal growth mindset.

Total possible points: 48

Your self love strength results

Based on your self love quiz results, here’s where you stand and what to focus on next:

37 – 48 points: Self love superstar

Wow! Your self love game is incredibly strong. You’ve built a solid foundation of self-respect, healthy boundaries, and genuine self-compassion. You treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a beloved friend, and it shows in how you move through the world.

Your superpowers:

You trust yourself and your decisions.
You maintain healthy boundaries naturally.
You bounce back from setbacks with resilience.
You prioritize your wellbeing without guilt.

Areas to keep strengthening:

Even superstars have room to grow! Look at any questions where you scored 3 points instead of 4. These are your opportunities to move from “good” to “exceptional.”

Action steps for you:

Model it for others – your healthy self love can inspire those around you.
Stay curious – keep learning about yourself and what makes you thrive.
Check in regularly – schedule monthly self love assessments to maintain your momentum.

28 – 36 points: Self love in progress

You’re on a really solid path! You’re actively practicing loving yourself in many areas, but there are still some patterns where self-doubt or self-criticism creep in.

You have many healthy self love practices in place, but there are still some areas where old patterns creep in. This is actually a beautiful place to be – you have enough self love to fuel positive changes in the areas that need attention.

Your strengths:

You’re aware of what healthy self love looks like.
You practice self-compassion more often than not.
You’re willing to prioritize yourself (at least sometimes).
You’re building confidence in your abilities.

Growth opportunities:

Look at the areas where you scored mostly 2s and 3s. These are your goldmines for transformation.

Action steps for you:

Choose one area to focus on – pick either boundaries, self-talk, self-care, or personal growth.
Create a daily practice – spend 10 minutes each day strengthening this area.
Celebrate small wins – acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small.
Get support – consider working with a coach or therapist to accelerate your progress.

19 – 27 points: Building your foundation

You’re at the beginning of a beautiful journey! Right now, self love might feel foreign or even selfish, but that’s completely normal. The fact that you took this quiz shows you’re ready to start changing your relationship with yourself.

What’s working:

You have moments of self-compassion.
You’re becoming aware of patterns that don’t serve you.
You want things to be different (and that desire is powerful!).

Where to focus:

Your self-talk and boundary-setting are likely your biggest opportunities for growth.

Action steps for you:

Start with your inner voice – notice when you’re being harsh with yourself and practice gentler language.
Set one small boundary this week – say no to something you don’t want to do.
Create a self-care ritual – even 15 minutes a day of something that nurtures you.
Find your support system – connect with people who encourage your growth.

12 – 18 points: Time for a self love revolution

First, take a deep breath. Getting this result doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you – it means you’ve been putting everyone else first for so long that you’ve forgotten how to put yourself on the list. The incredible news? You have nowhere to go but up, and small changes in self love create massive ripple effects in your life.

Your hidden strengths:

You’re incredibly generous and caring (time to turn some of that toward yourself).
You’re willing to look honestly at your patterns.
You have the capacity for deep love (you just need to redirect some of it inward).

Your transformation opportunities:

Every single area of self love is ready for your attention, which means every day can bring noticeable improvements.

Action steps for you:

Start tiny – choose one small act of self-kindness daily (like drinking your favorite tea or taking three deep breaths).
Challenge one critical thought daily – when you notice harsh self-talk, ask “Would I say this to my best friend?”
Practice saying no – start with low-stakes situations and build your boundary muscle.
Seek professional support – a therapist or coach can help you rebuild your relationship with yourself faster.
Join a community – find others who are on similar journeys for encouragement and accountability.

Make yourself a priority - Self love quiz to help you start loving yourself and self love therapy suggestions

Continue your self love journey based on your results

If you struggle with self-criticism (scored low in Section 1):

If you need help with boundaries (scored low in Section 2):

If you want to deepen self-compassion (scored low in sections 1 & 3):

If you’re building daily self-love practices:

If you’re working through past pain (affects all sections):

If comparison is your struggle:

How to stop comparing yourself to others and start thriving in your own life

Beyond the quiz: Your next steps

No matter what you scored, remember this: self love is a practice, not a destination. Even those with high scores have days when their inner critic gets loud or their boundaries get wobbly. The key is having tools to get back on track.

Universal self love boosters

Daily practices:

Morning affirmation – start each day with one kind thing you believe about yourself.
Boundary check – ask yourself “What do I need right now?” and honor the answer.
Evening appreciation – before bed, acknowledge one thing you did well that day.
Body gratitude – thank your body for something it did for you today.

The self love mindset shifts that matter most

From “I should” to “I choose” – this simple language change puts you back in control.
From perfection to progress – celebrate movement in the right direction.
From comparison to compassion – your only competition is yesterday’s version of yourself.
From earning love to deserving love – you don’t have to prove your worth.

Signs your self love needs attention

Watch for these red flags and use them as signals to double down on self-care:

You feel guilty when you’re not being productive.
You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.
You seek constant validation from others.
You sacrifice your needs to keep everyone else happy.
You feel exhausted by trying to be perfect.

The truth about building self love

Building self love isn’t always comfortable. When you start treating yourself better, you might feel guilty. When you set boundaries, some people might not like it. When you stop people-pleasing, relationships might shift.

This doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong – it means you’re breaking old patterns and creating new ones. And that always feels weird at first.

The people who truly love you will support your growth. The opportunities that are meant for you will come when you stop shrinking yourself. The relationships that are built on mutual respect will get stronger when you respect yourself more.

Your self love journey starts now

You’ve taken the first step by honestly assessing where you are. That takes courage, and I’m proud of you for being here.

Remember: self love isn’t selfish – it’s essential. When you love yourself well, you show up better for everyone in your life. You make decisions from strength instead of fear. You create space for joy, success, and authentic connections.

Your score is just a starting point. What matters most is what you do next.

So, what will it be? What’s one small step you can take today to love yourself a little bit better?

The world needs you at your fullest, most confident, most self loving version. And that journey starts with the next choice you make.

You’ve got this. And more importantly, you’ve got you.

Ready to transform your self love quiz results into real change?

Whether you scored high or low on this self love quiz, growth happens when you have structured support.

For those seeking deeper healing: If your quiz results revealed patterns that need professional attention, consider combining self love therapy with structured daily practices. Many therapists recommend workbooks as companion tools to therapy because they provide concrete exercises you can practice between sessions.

For those ready for independent transformation: My Self love workbook bundle gives you 4 comprehensive workbooks – each with 30 days of proven daily practices, journaling prompts, and self love rituals that build unshakeable confidence from the ground up.

This self love workbook for women is designed specifically to address the unique challenges women face when learning to love themselves – from overcoming people-pleasing to breaking free from comparison and perfectionism.

You’ll get the exact tools to:

Shift from self-criticism to self-compassion,
Develop the kind of self love that changes everything about how you show up in the world,
Practice the same techniques used in self love therapy, but at your own pace.

The bundle includes:

Self love foundations – break free from self-judgment and build a loving relationship with yourself.
Self-compassion reset – transform how you treat yourself and stop being your own worst enemy.
Self love rituals – 30 days to self-love habits – small actions, massive impact.
Letting go – release the past, heal old wounds, and finally move forward.

Because knowing where you stand through this self love quiz is just the beginning – real change happens when you have a clear roadmap to get where you want to go.

Self love quiz: How strong is your self love right now?

Why your self love level matters more than you think